Remembering MamMaw

Today, Michelle's (my former wife) grandmother, Mammaw, passed away. She was 95 years old and lived a very long, lovely life. In the photo here, it was her 90th birthday! Michelle always feared each visit back east would be her last time to see Mammaw, starting at her 89th birthday when we rushed out to get a video camera prior to heading to the airport for a red-eye to her birthday party - well, she had plenty more time as Mammaw as it turned out!

Mammaw lived originally in Kentucky, where Mammaw and Pap-paw are the typical grandparent nomenclature. It's a southern thang...as far back as middle school, Michelle's excitement to see her grandmother was palpable to me. Her stories of road-tripping to Florida to see her grandparents are some of her fondest childhood memories. She enjoyed hanging out with her, playing cards, and of course, hearing family tales and stories from long ago (while Michelle loves the elderly, there is no question that Mammaw was her favorite!). Mammaw's mother, Grammy Confer, also lived to 95 - so there was a lot of time for family stories to materialize and be shared for generations.

When Michelle and I partnered up, she and Mammaw wrote letters to each other. She initially wasn't saving them but I suggested she ought to start, being Mammaw was a seemingly ripe-old 87. Her letter box quickly filled and eventually was burgeoning with their weekly updates and sharing of life. Even as Mammaw moved to a skilled care facility, she'd write letters on her "good days" and let Michelle know what was served for lunch that day or news about her great-grandchildren who lived nearby and certainly helped keep her young. And sometimes, she'd remember life with Pap-paw, or just report her opinion about current events.

I think the thing Michelle's life was most touched by was the magical unconditional love that so many of us get from grandparents - Mammaw offered that to her in spades! Grandmothers are there to just love and adore us, skimming over disappointments, handing us back to our parents to discipline us, and watching us unfold without expectations. Mammaw was always fascinated with the details Michelle's life, choices, and adventures - this made her feel unequivocally loved, supported and encouraged. Needless to say, Mammaw was extraordinarily proud of Michelle as a person, her accomplishments as an athlete, student, and healthcare worker. Her passing will no doubt leave a void in Michelle's life, but their close relationship, regular communication, quality visits - and of course, the love and adoration they had for one another - will sustain her memory and continue to impact Michelle's life from here on out.

Mammaw, it was suspected, was aiming to pass away on the same day her husband, Pap-paw, did many years ago - she overshot it slightly and died the day after. Not suffering from any illness in particular, she passed away from old age, peacefully surrounded by family and caregivers who'd been with her for many years at her skilled nursing residence. Needless to say, she will be missed.